🐈‍⬛ CAT STICKERS INSIDE

The Cat Operator’s Manual

Finally, The Manual Your Cat Should Have Given You

Congratulations on your new Cuddle Unit 5™! This essential operating manual covers everything from Mood Mode indicators to advanced purring mechanisms. Finally understand why your unit insists on 3 AM wake-up calls, strategic hairball placement, and the precise physics of knocking things off tables.

★★★★★

4.8 out of 5 stars

Based on Amazon customer reviews

📚 Unity Books Bestseller 🏆 #2 Sonoma Tribune

“The Cat Operator’s Manual set to be the hit book of the season.” — Lucire.com

A breakout hit—The Cat Operator’s Manual landed on the Unity Books Bestseller List just days after launch, and soon after reached #2 on the Sonoma Index-Tribune Bestseller List for paperback nonfiction.

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The perfect gift for: Cat parents, crazy cat ladies, new kitten owners, Secret Santa exchanges, or anyone who's ever lost a battle for pillow space with a furry overlord.

Preview Sample Pages

Preview The Cat Operator’s Manual

Read a sample of the book

📐 Features Technical Diagrams Like "Exterior Overview"

⚠️ Complete with Official Safety Warnings & Care Symbols

🔧 Includes Troubleshooting Guides & System Diagnostics

Book contents page showing humorous chapter titles like 'Startup Chime,' 'Turbo Mode,' 'The Cold Shoulder Maneuver,' 'Collaborative Bed-Making,' and 'Understanding: This Is an Empty Bowl of Food' in a technical manual style on yellow background

Book foreword thanking readers for choosing Cuddle Unit 5, alongside care symbols page showing laundry-style icons for 'Do not tumble dry,' 'Hand-wash only,' 'Do not bleach,' and a warning about accepting no liability for damage

Technical diagram titled 'Exterior Overview (View B)' showing a pink cat with labeled parts including 'Antennae,' 'Pat zone,' 'Scritch zone,' 'Danger zone,' 'Temperature port,' and 'Launch assembly/eviscerator' in product manual style

Book spread showing 'Interior Overview' diagram of orange cat's mouth with labeled parts like 'Right saber,' 'Gaping maw of doom,' alongside a safety warning about keeping hands clear of cat's mouth and bite risks

'Sounds' chapter pages explaining cat vocalizations including 'Meow,' 'Chirp,' and 'Yowling at Unseen Spirits' with illustrations of cats and sound wave graphics

Humorous flowchart showing cat behavior during food preparation, with decision points about whether humans give tidbits, leading to outcomes like 'Cuddle Unit 5 pleads silently with their big eyes' or 'eats nom nom nom'

★★★★★

"Absolutely delightful! Bought 3 copies as gifts for my cat-loving friends. They couldn't stop laughing and relating to every page."

— Sarah M. ✓ Verified Purchase

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What Cat Lovers Are Saying

Real reviews from delighted readers

★★★★★

"Absolutely delightful! Bought 3 copies as gifts for my cat-loving friends. They couldn't stop laughing and relating to every page."

— Sarah M. ✓ Verified Purchase

★★★★★

"Every turn of the page brought on new laughter. A delightful, humorous, and indispensable 'service manual' for cat owners covered in a dry, technical, and subversively hilarious manner with accompanying illustrations."

— Amazon Customer ✓ Verified Purchase

★★★★★

"I don't even own a cat and this book is amazing and super cute! The humor is spot-on and the illustrations are fantastic. Already bought two more as gifts."

— Canadian Reader ✓ Verified Purchase

★★★★

"Gets two opposable thumbs up! Packed with information about what to do and what not to do, all while keeping you entertained. The 'Mood Mode Indicator' and hazard warnings are genius."

— Jayne, Dear Author

What's Inside Your Cuddle Unit 5™ Manual

Essential features, troubleshooting guides, and advanced operating instructions

Mood Mode Indicators

Chapters on Judgment Emitters, Slow Blink, and The Cold Shoulder Maneuver explain when "pet me" becomes "leave me alone" in 0.3 seconds flat.

Turbo Mode & Zoomies

Why does your cat go from dead asleep to NASCAR at 3 AM? Chapters on Turbo Mode Activation, Eco Mode, and the infamous zoomies phenomenon.

Boxes & High Value Scratching

Any box is the right box. Your expensive furniture? That's a High Value Scratching Post now. The manual explains why resistance is futile.

Collaborative Bed-Making

You can't make the bed without your cat sitting directly on the fitted sheet. Chapters include The Clean Laundry Protocol and why fresh sheets summon cats instantly.

Closed Door Protocol

Closed doors are forbidden. Period. The manual covers Window Surveillance Protocol, Human Avoidance System, and why bathroom privacy is a myth.

Technical Specifications

Exterior Overview diagrams show where the danger zones are (hint: the entire cat). Includes Comfort Optimization Algorithm, Self-Cleaning Mode, and System Diagnostics.

Why Cat Lovers Adore This Book

Finally, answers to life's biggest mysteries—like why your cat stares at you at 4 AM, demands attention then ignores you, and insists that your keyboard is the perfect napping spot. The Cat Operator’s Manual includes technical diagrams, troubleshooting guides, and a bonus sticker sheet!

Startup Chime

Touch any part of your cat's touch-sensitive body and hear the startup chime—meowing that means internal diagnostics passed and your unit will be completely alert in a few minutes.

Fresh Sheets = Cat Time

Every. Single. Time. You change the sheets, your cat appears. The Clean Laundry Protocol explains this phenomenon. Your bed was never yours to begin with.

Perfect Gift for Cat Parents

For birthdays, holidays, Secret Santa, or anyone who's ever lost a battle for pillow space. Every cat owner will recognize themselves in these pages.

Coffee Table Book

Put it on your coffee table and watch guests pick it up. The technical diagrams, emergency protocols, and "Turbo Mode" specifications get laughs every time.

Introducing Queen Olivia III

The writer and illustrator of The Cat Operator‘s Manual lives in New Zealand. Featured in the LA Times, in nationwide advertising campaigns, film and television, Queen Olivia III is a celebrated personality and cat enthusiast.